First birth - April 2022.
MGP care. Induced due to consistently reduced fetal movements from week 39-40.
CTG kept showing reduced variability in baby’s heart rate. Balloon successfully opened cervix to 5cm overnight. AROM and synto drip began next morning, dilated to 8cm within 2 hours, got an epidural and soon after was 10cm. Baby was still not engaged in my pelvis at this point - we tried all we could in terms of positioning but the epi made this difficult. Soon I developed a fever, had blood in my urine and baby’s heart rate was becoming not as stable / not recovering well after each contraction. Consented to a cesarean which was a really calm experience in terms of “emergency” cesareans - my daughter was straight on my chest and stayed there feeding while I was stitched up. A few hours later they took her to insert a cannula for antibiotics (since I’d had a fever) and that was probably the hardest part for me - I wish I’d advocated for her to stay with me.

I was really uneducated on physiological birth and the cascade of interventions and came out of the whole thing just thinking “wtf was that?”

I knew birth could, and should, feel different.

Second birth - November 2024. Private midwifery care with a home birth midwife. Very smooth pregnancy with no complications - chose to have a “booking in” appointment with my local hospital, which happened to be with the OB who performed my cesarean, and she was incredibly supportive of my choice to birth at home. In terms of what I did to “prepare” is all below the story - I’ll just give the labour birth run down here first.

Spontaneous labour at 40+3, woke up right on midnight to the first contraction, and at the exact same time, the power went out - was super freaky.

Contractions 20-30 mins apart for the rest of the night, I slept through most of them but without aircon was struggling with the Far North QLD heat. Power came back on at 5am and at the same time contractions moved to 6 minutes apart. I think I was subconsciously holding out for the power to come back on for labour to progress any further. I went about my morning, thinking it would all fizzle out now it was day time - made some breakfast and hung out with my toddler.

By 8am I grabbed the birth comb as I felt I needed something to take the edge off and my partners Mum came and took my toddler - we still didn’t think we were having a baby today but she was happy to take her so we could at least catch up on sleep. Laboured side lying on the couch and on the exercise ball until about 10am - using the comb, heat packs and massage from my partner.

Contractions picked up to every 3 minutes and I couldn’t sit or lay down any longer - so we decided it was time to make a birthday cake for the baby, which was slowwww going, given I needed to stop every 3 minutes, but a good distraction nonetheless! I was still convinced it might fizzle out, so I hadn’t texted my midwife or photographer yet. Put the TENS on at this point too and loved it, and my partner inflated the pool. At 11am, my partner suggested we call my midwife and photographer (who had to get a back up photographer to come because this was the one day in the month she couldn’t make it), still convinced I was only in early labour - but they both knew to get there asap as I couldn’t really speak a sentence. Hopped in the shower, with the hot water running on my back while I leant forward with my head pressing into my partners chest, doing big hip circles with each surge. Truthfully, I was still finding it really manageable and although I’d realised baby was on their way, I was still sure I had a long time to go. My partner was running back and forth trying to sort out filling up the birth pool between contractions.

He took a picture of my ‘purple line’ and that’s when I realised I was way closer to meeting my baby than I thought (the line was dark and allllll the way up my bum … ie. I was fully dilated).

Moved into the birth space around midday and both my midwife and photographer arrived. Put the TENS back on and continued the swaying / circling motion with my head digging into my partners chest and pulling down on his t-shirt (I owe him a new one). With each surge I kept wanting to pull down further toward the ground and I knew that this was my body ‘bearing down’.

It wasn’t until now that my waters started to leak very slowly, just a few drops here and there. My primary midwife was packing the dishwasher, as she (and I quote) “wasn’t needed on the dance floor”, and I think the second midwife arrived around 1pm.

My vocalisations changed and I wanted to get on my hands and knees, so I hopped in the pool and found my position - kneeling and leaning over the edge. I started to really vocalise and I was loud (I mean I lost my voice for 2 whole days afterwards loud) with the most primal, deep sounds as I felt her begin the descent through my pelvis.

After only a few contractions I used my fingers to feel inside and her head was so close - the most surreal feeling. My midwife came to join the dance at this point, and was giving the most incredible hip squeezes and ended up getting in the pool (pink maxi dress and all) so she could be in a better position to keep going (as I was adamant she had to hip squeeze every contraction). My partner also jumped in and sat in front of me, so I was between them.

A few contractions of her moving up and down before I heard the words I’d longed to hear “head on view”. We think my waters must have fully released at this point as her head emerged, no one is really sure! Next contraction her head was out and next one was her body.

I scooped her up between us and we found out we had a second daughter. 25 minutes pushing - and I certainly didn’t breathe her out in some kind of zen state, but it felt so raw and so powerful , like my body just instinctively did all the work without any conscious thought.

Hopped out the pool after about 15 minutes, lay down on a little nest I had made prior and within 20 mins the placenta came out without much effort at all. I had a first degree tear and opted to have some small suturing done which didn’t take long; all while I ate the first mango of the season that I’d bought the day prior, hoping it would be my first postpartum snack.

Baby was 3.9kg - much bigger than her sister! The best part for me is no one told me what to do at any point - I just let my body and baby guide the whole process while my support team just responded to what they knew I needed or asked for in each moment.

The few hours after were total homebirth bliss - chatting with my team in my own lounge room, feeding my baby on my own couch , showering in my own shower and eating the first mango of the season which I had bought the day prior hoping it would be my first post birth snack.

Big sister came home to meet her baby sister by 5pm and we all went to bed, like it was any ordinary Saturday. It was so simple and extraordinarily ordinary.

Despite some afterbirth pains in the days after (that ended up causing some vomiting), the recovery was incredibly smooth!

• Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering

• Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage

• Down to Earth Birth

• Birth with Confidence

• Beyond the Birth Plan

• Ten Moons

• Great Birth Rebellion

• Midwives Cauldron

• Birth stories that are

• VBAC/HBAC specific, my favourites were - Australian VBAC stories, Birthing at Home, Homebirth Stories Australia, Australian Birth Stories, Growing Up Raising Us.

• Followed heaps of birthy Instagram accounts that aligned with my own philosophies and beliefs around birth

• 15-20 minutes of daily yoga at home from 12 weeks, with a focus on pelvic floor strengthening exercises until around 25 weeks and then pelvic floor opening exercises until birth + yoga class once a week

• internal pelvic release work once a week from 37 weeks with my midwife
  optimal maternal positioning body work from 28 weeks - weekly with my midwife + every few days with my partner
  a chiro session at 20, 28 and 36 weeks

• birth debrief to unpack my previous birth with B from core and floor restore at 6 weeks

• one cup of raspberry leaf tea daily from 34 weeks - however stopped due to non stop Braxton hicks that I believe were a result of this - then started drinking it again at 37 weeks

• clary sage oil used directly on key acupressure points, on belly and diffused around me from 37 weeks

• attending my local homebirth circles to connect with women who have walked this path before me and hear their stories

• sitting in my intended birth space and doing my yoga and breath-work, listening to my birth playlist, drawing and colouring in affirmations / birthy artwork and just generally manifesting my dream birth whenever I felt called to, but especially in the last 2 weeks

• participating in any kind of birthing course - I felt that the education I had from readings/ podcasts and my private midwife’s extensive knowledge base, as well as my own intuitive knowledge, was enough.

• acupuncture - would have considered past 42 weeks or if I had any particular pains in pregnancy. I did educate myself and my partner on acupressure though and used those tools in late pregnancy and labour.

• eating dates - I did use a lot of dates in my cooking but definitely not 6 a day, could not stomach the sugar hit.

• perineal massage - I found it uncomfortable in my first pregnancy and believe our perineum is made to stretch in birth and doesn’t need practise in doing so.

• hiring a doula - I felt that because I was birthing at home with a small support team who I had a trusting relationship with, I didn’t need the extra support or someone to help advocate for me.